an empty house... what to do in an empty house... throw a wild party and trash all the furniture? perhaps. or perhaps i'll just sit here and write my blog.
the atmosphere in the house isn't the pleasantest in the middle of the day, hours stretching in each direction. i should have gone out but i feel tied to the task of clearing out my room. it's becoming obsessive. i just want to get rid of everything i own. all my drawers are empty. i should have gone out. old photographs made me cry, they always do. university prospectuses just made my head feel like a big ball of cotton wool, and made me clench my fists in frustration. i thought i had ruled out taking a foundation art course next year because i thought i had ruled out going to art school altogether. but i think that decision was rash and made under the wrong circumstances. so now i'm back to square one.... but i have a plan. that plan being to simply ignore the fact that i shall have to make desicions soon and pretend none of it is going to happen.
but we're going down to cornwall next week, and that should be grand. fresh air, beaches and cold water. i like the feeling of space on beaches, i like walking down across the dunes where the grass pricks your skin and the little yellow snail shells lie in the sand, and then you stand on the edge and look out over the vast sandy stretch below you and how it reaches all the way down to the sea which looks like miles away. and everything is yellow and blue and green. and you stand for a few seconds on the dune and feel the huge expanse of air, and of space, that surrounds you. and then suddenly you run down the slope of the dune to the beach and you slip and slide on the sand on your way down, leaving huge skids and footsteps behind you on the soft smooth sand and you nearly fall over from momentum as you reach the bottom. yes. i shan't stay in this stuffy house for long.