i'm a little worried by the fact that i think i may have a disposition towards jealousy. "beware the green-eyed monster, it doth mock the meat it feeds upon". clever guy, shakespeare. but then, i also have a dispositon towards an overactive imagination and i find it easy to become obsessive about things... it's like i can't control my own mind, or my own feelings... they just sort of snowball and suddenly get out of hand, and i get dragged down with them against my own will. and then i get jealous................................................... my thoughts in the first place are based on silly inconsequential things, and then silly small things are also the basis for jealousy. it's ridiculous. the circumstances do nothing to dictate my feelings, they're too small to possibly have invoked what they have invoked, and then of course, they being small in the first place, it only takes something small to knock the whole thing down. it's like mount everest balancing on a drawing pin.

i think i should stop here.

try and distract myself.

(though i already know nothing will work)