do something pretty

Thursday, March 24, 2005

3 types of darkroom developer agitators:
1) gutsy and reckless. tip the tray so hard and frequent they are lucky the chemical doesn't spill.
2) careful. tips gently and slowly to cover the whole print.
3) forgetful. slips the paper in, stares at it for a while, then suddenly remembers to agitate.
i hang somewhere between 2 and 3.

i like the darkroom, but most especially when it's empty. i like hiding out in there for a whole lesson even when i have no more than one or two prints to do. i spend the rest of my time by the cold wash, running my fingers through the freezing water, and playing with it like a child. when you start to lift your print out of the wash, and the water runs off it, the red lights reflect all over it like glowing red maggots. gently pressing your palm down onto the smooth surface of the water, without breaking the surface, gives the same resistance as pressing your hand against human skin. in the darkroom alone i always wish someone would come up behind me, wrap their arms around my waist and kiss my neck. i like the quiet hum of the extractor and the darkness.

keats reassured me in the library today. i was glad we got on, he likes me much better when i don't press him for love poetry. today i was quite happy to be introduced to melancholy personified, and he rewarded me with soft gems.