have you ever tried not to think about something? it actually requires a lot of effort. i mentioned before my overactive imagination. today i tried to reign it in a little by forbidding myself to think about the offending subject. it was very tricky. it sneaks up on you, and before you know it, it's playing around in your mind again, and you haven't even noticed. it's almost impossible to find anything distracting enough either. thoughts are sneaky, they slip into your mind when you think you are otherwise occupied. talking to someone or reading a book doesn't even keep them away. and when they do come, it's hard then to suddenly banish them, seeing as you need a thought similarly interesting to take it's place, and those are hard to come by on the spot.
i spent the morning frustrated by my attempts. it wasn't too bad, but i certainly didn't acheive the total clearance that i wanted. in the afternoon i relaxed a little, the mornings' hardwork had at least calmed my brain activity, and the thoughts i was trying to keep away now come less frequently than before. to keep up the total ban all the time would be both mentally straining and also silly. i shall settle for what i have acheived.