finding it difficult to eat. finding it difficult to sleep. finding it difficult to concentrate. smiling a lot though.
 
got up last night at 2am, i'd been lying there awake since 1. i had to turn on my light because my lamp has broken. it's one of those dull energy saving lightbulbs, but it still blinded me for a few seconds with brightness. the darkness fled to the window panes and stayed there pressing against them. all i could hear was the church bells striking 2:30 and the ticking of my clock. at that point in the night, the only thing that counts is the passing of time. i tried to do some writing, but the sound of my pencil travelling across paper was tremendous. it seemed so loud i was afraid of waking other people with it. i had nothing much to say anyway, i was trying to tire myself.